the most annoying music genre ever is...

techno-yodelling christmas carols.

oooooh shit yeah!

*does the dance of wootness*

i'm in i'm in i'm in! as of next february i'll be learning jewellery making at tafe! 3 days a week of bliss and creativity without having to go to work! YAY!

despite that i'm feeling a bit, i dunno, bummed i s'pose. I guess its just the boring monotony that is my work and life in general a lot of the time, but the christmas spirit appears to have passed me by this year. I've barely started presents, i put up my tree by myself and in record time just to say i've done it, and i haven't even bothered plugging in the fairy lights outside. It just doesn't feel like christmas to me. *sigh*

to finish on a little bit of a high note, though, this saturday is my works christmas do. not that spending even more time with those degenerates is cause for celebration. Its just that i'm going in full goth so as to show them quite definitely that I AM NOT ONE OF THEM!

P.S. call me lillypilly! we HAVE to get together before christmas!! um, but after i find something for you!

retro lurv

so I've been on a complete Star Trek: Voyager trip for the past couple of weeks. I forgot how much i loved this show when it was on tv years ago. I can't actually believe its been that long since it was on! The biggest surprise to me is probably the fact that it took about 5 seconds to fall back in love with Robert Beltran's character Chakotay. Could that man have had any woman on that ship or what?!
Something I didn't know about the actor himself, besides the fact that his actual age is not reflected in the way he looks, is that he has a younger sibling with Downs' Syndrome, just like me! Woot for obscure celebrity connections!

Anyway, besides my resurrected fantasies of me and a certain 'Native American' (Robert himself is actually of Mexican descent) gettin' all sweaty in a corn field somewhere, I've also been madly preparing for my interview for the Tafe jewellery making course for next year. I'll upload some of my portfolio pages to deviantart after i post this. the interview itself was on Tuesday, and I think it went well. that is until i asked the interviewer if he knew certain people i know who share his last name, and he replied that one of them was his ex-wife! Social suicide or what?! anyway, the conversation was saved when i looked extremely embarrassed and he said the other person I'd mentioned was his daughter. Said daughter helped my aforementioned younger sibling at college and taught him to swim when he little. I imparted this little gem of information and left ASAP!
thanks to miss LillyPilly who was there to give me a hug before I went in! hopefully I'll be studying the course next year and the interviewer, who is also one of the lecturers, will forgive me my little faux pas and we can move on to me learning all sorts of awesome things! One of those awesome things includes actually making my own wire from which to make jumprings with which to make chainmaille!! WOOT!!

And just to bring this whole post together:
My discovery that Senor Beltran adores Shakespeare has inspired the chainmailler in me, and my head is full of awesome Macbeth chainmaille coats and King Lear crowns, and Juliet coronets and all kinds of wonderful things that I'll never have the money or time to make! Yay frustrated artistic intentions!!!

money + internet=BEADS!!!!

So I just spent about $100 on beads. And jumprings. And crystals. And pearls. and clasps. Trust me, it was all wholesale and hence awesomely priced. It wasn't random either, I knew exactly what I wanted. I just bought enough stuff to make about 5 major pieces or sets of jewellery, most of them based on lead female characters from classic operas and musicals. I've designed jewellery for Tosca, (Madame) Butterfly, Cosette (Les Miserables), Turandot and Christinem (Phantom of the Opera).

For anyone who cares, I'll put a heap of links to Australian bead sites (most of them are wholesalers too!).

Oh yeah, and I don't think I'm gonna go to uni next year. I've been thinking about it since I got a letter from Tafe the other day asking me to contact them for an interview. ok, backstory needed *wavy flashback lines* now we're back in about March this year, ages before I was full-time at work and before i was thinking about going back to uni. I called Tafe about a Jewellery course, but they'd already started for the year. They took my details and said they'd contact me about next years course in October. Fast forward to this week *whiplash* and I receive the letter from Tafe saying that I need to put together a portfolio of work and contact someone about an interview for the course in November.

And that got me thinking about what I really want to do. I want to start an arts-based business of my own, I want to learn new techniques and try to get really good at the things I can already do. I don't want to add another 12-15 thousand bucks onto the 12-15 thousand bucks I already owe on my student debts from the first useless degree. I don't really want to study something I'm not entirely interested in, struggling to pay attention and failing to get the best grades and hence not getting the best oppurtunities afterward. And I don't want to be just another geek on a help desk putting up with dickheads.

So I'm going to try my best for the tafe course. And if I get into the computer degree, I may just say 'nevermind.'

youtube can be educational? who knew?!

So today was a public holiday in hobart today so people could go to the show. Except that supermarkets are open so i had to work. which is ok cos i get paid overtime to do so, but a pain cos I wanted to get out early to go to the show with my brothers, so I had to work twice as fast as usual and it was stressing me out!

Anyway, i got to leave work almost an hour early and met with my bro's at the show. We petted animals, watched woodcutters, tried not to catch the eye of the carnies, rode a couple of rides and bought a few showbags. Sweet. Tomorrow night is the friday night fireworks at the show and i might go back with my sexy ghenkis cos he got all emo cos i didn't wait for tomorrow to go with him. Poor bunny.

So anyway. youtube. cesspit of human degradation. i usually steer clear of it, even to the detriment of my knowledge of the goings on of blunty. however, recently I have discovered that hidden amongst the dense foliage of mad rednecks carving jack o'lanterns and badly dubbed episodes of naruto, there are actually a few people who embrace the point of the internet(insofar as there is one): The free exchange of information. There's actually educational videos on there for making chainmail, knitting, crocheting, painting and drawing. some of them are commercial and some are just normal people making quick vids to show off their hobby and their own style, but there's some really good stuff on there!
And no, Raedella, condom ads and bad 90's video clips don't count as the good stuff!

beer swilling pigs. literally

so my lovelery ghenkis and I just spent the weekend up at Scamander. the weather was great and the hotel was nice, and it was a pleasant weekend. the end.

Now, back to my crafty stall business idea, erm, thingy. I love sales at Spotlight. I now have a pretty good collection of Jo Sonja paints, and I'm gonna get painting roses as soon as I'm done with this post. I've also got some great beads to make flowers from and pretty crochet thread to start making something lacy out of!

Oh yeah, and back to my shitty job tomorrow. *sigh*

catchya's!

storm asked for it!

so i'm bloggin' cos i was told to. by someone who i talk to either online or in person almost everyday. weird.

well i suppose i should go through whats going on. I'm still working my crappy meat mole job, except now i'm back to being a checkout chick some of the time too. Joy. I can't wait to get outta there.

On that subject, i've applied to do a bachelor of computing next year at uni. I find out if i made it in November. In the meantime I'm expecting to be contacted by Tafe about a jewellery making course i expressed interest in back in March or something! I can't do it if i get into uni cos its a full-time course which sucks cos I'd really like to get into something like that. It'd help with inventory!

Yesterday on my radio station of choice, Triple J, they were talking about starting a small business. It reminded me of all the times i've thought of doing the same thing. I'd only start with a stall at the markets or something, but I'd sell stuff that I'd make myself as well as related stuff i could get wholesale from ebay or something. i could also go try again at selling stuff on etsy.

Things I'd look at selling (and hence will madly try to make while i still have a full-time income!) include:

Beaded flowers: (which I'm utterly mad about at the moment!) made into wreaths, bouqets, hair clips, and commissions taken for weddings and costumes.
Plush dolls: very simple ones probably from calico, that could be given to a young child
Chainmail jewellery: simple and classy or extravagant with beads, crystals, pearls or whatever! headdresses, chokers, necklaces, earrings, rings, anklets etc etc
other Jewellery: tartan chokers with chains and stuff for a punk look, beaded hand charms, beaded jewellery sets, crocheted chokers with ribbon, beaded cabochons etc, etc.
Rose painting: on ANYTHING!! brown paper bags, noodle boxes, cards, coasters, placemats, books, boxes, fabric, jeans, t shirts, bottles, with parchment craft, etc etc
papercrafts: stickers, little books, tea bag folding, scrapbooking embellishments, cards, etc all handmade. paper roses made with punch craft.
Embroidery: the roses i used on my corset on everything! shirts, jewellery, clutch purses and drawstring purses, ring pillows, cushion covers
Plaster masks: decorated, able to be used or just hung up on a wall, with ribbon or a stick.

And to pad all that stuff out, jewellery and craft supplies i can find for wholesale on etsy or ebay!

I'll still have to learn a few things, like how to sew properly to make the clothes for the plush dolls, parchment craft and maybe go and do lapidary to make cabochons for my work and to sell individually. But other than that i think i can really do this!
It may in fact save my sanity!

I think what really made me think about this was not only the thing on the radio that brought it to mind, but the fact that at the same time i was staring at a guild wars loading screen. For 5 minutes. And I thought: why am i doing this? why just sit here. there's craft books on the chair next to me. there's beading and chainmail stuff on the table right in front of me. I don't even have to get up!

So I got started. I've finalised my plush doll pattern, started on a miniature rose bouqet and made a pair of chainmail earrings in the same time it would take me to laaaaaaag my way across Lion's Arch!

Why the hell did i spend beading cash on Factions?!

back to the flowers!

It's real and I'm so grateful

All my little plans and schemes
Lost like some forgotten dream
Seems like all I really was doing
Was waiting for you

Just like little girls and boys
Playing with their little toys
Seems like all they really were doing
Was waiting for you

Don't need to be alone
No need to be alone

It's real love
It's real, yes it's real love
It's real

From this moment on I know
Exactly where my life will go
Seems that all I really was doing
Was waiting for love

Don't need to be afraid
No need to be afraid

It's real love
It's real, yes it's real love
It's real

Thought I'd been in love before,
But in my heart I wanted more
Seems like all I really was doing
Was waiting for you

Don't need to be alone
No need to be alone

It's real love
Yes it's real, yes it's real love
It's real, yes it's real love...

Harry & Alice r t3h l33t roxorzzzzzzzzz

So the weekend was on the rather large size. starting friday evening when i had too much to drink and no sleep and culminating in a lot of sleep from about 5pm sunday evening until 6am this morning when i had to go back to work. I still can't speak for coughing, probably because of all the screaming.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was released saturday morning here at 9.01am. well it might have been 9.01, but since no one in the shop i got mine from had a watch with the correct time on it then it was probably 5 past by the time they actually got around to dishing them out. I had met mum at 7 for breakfast so we could go and line up at our respective bookstores at about 8ish, which meant i'd gotten up at 6am after ghenkis finally made me go to bed at about 3.15am and i didn't sleep anyway. I started reading as soon as i could elbow my way out of the store, swerving to miss people who were actually paying attention to the 'real' world, as i walked back to my car. I kept sneaking in a sentence or two as i drove home, at red lights, then packed a spare dress and my makeup into a bag and sat down to read while ghenkis got ready to go on our roadtrip up to launy for the Alice Cooper concert. I was mortified to discover 15 minutes after we started driving that, due probably to sleep-dep, I COULDN'T KEEP READING IN THE CAR OR I WAS GONNA BE SICK!!! soooo unfair! So on the way up, i used the rest stops my brother had to take for his backache to keep reading. We got to launy, where we stayed in the country club villa's and mum and i both sat down on the couch and continued reading unil it was time to do that mundane eating thing. then we returned to Harry. then we went to see Alice Cooper and actually had a decent reason to put the book down!

He came, he saw, he staked a doll which bled all over the place, he flashed knives, twirled walking sticks, hung himself at the gallows and basically rocked the place as launy has not been rocked possibly since the last time he toured! We were very near the front and my awesome brother danced with me the whole way through. There was an actual mosh up the front and it was generally one of the most awesome thingS i've ever witnessed. DEVIL HORNS!!!!!!!!!!!

Then it was back to the villa, back to the bathtub and back to Harry!
I went to bed at 2am when ghenkis and my brother got back from the casino where some very very drunk guy who had won waaaay too much money for his inebriated brain to handle, bought them drinks and threw hundred dollar bills at them.

We were up and away at 10 the next morning and I was happy to find out that I could now read in the car without feeling sick! WOOT!! so it was harry all the way back to hobart. I finished about 2pm sunday afternoon and mum and I looked at each other and said 'so out of the 10 or so people she just killed off, who did j.k. rowling mean when she said she was going to kill off 2?!'

Anyway, the book is awesome, spectacularly so at the end, and frankly I cannot wait to see it's big-screen adaption. there will be some seriously testing scenes in there for Dan, Emma and Rupert and with the density of the final plot twists and climax it will be a hell of a ride! one final point: GO NEVILLE YOU HERO!!!!!!!!!

3 sleeps!!

well, apparently creating an original corset from scratch, and an entire set of Indian bridal jewellery isn't worth anything to crystal park or Swarovski. I'm not a finalist. I don't know what beat me, the site hasn't changed, but they were supposed to notify people on Monday and I got nothin'. Anyway, I know the people who supported me and appreciated my efforts, so I don't need some pompous executive from Swarovski Australia to tell me if i'm talented or not!

On to cooler news! Check out my deviantart journal for my take on Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: 2 thumbs way way up!! I think I have a touch of a crush on Dan Radcliffe. The boys' not a boy anymore!

3 sleeps until the final book, the Deathly Hallows, is released and I have to stand in 2 cues, once for me and again for mum, to pick up pre-ordered copies. Which is a happy coincidence, since that will give us reading material for the drive up north to see ALICE COOPER!! Woot!!

Lets hope that the Deathly Hallows makes provision for a scruffier, tougher Harry, so we can all drool at a movie full of this hotness:

am I really good enough?

top 10%. that's what i have to be to even be considered for a prize for that Swarovski competition. At the end of the comp there are 300 entries. they are only taking 30 entries to look at as finalists, out of that 30 only 10 will recieve prizes. So either the corset or the indian gothic bridal set have to be able to compete with the best of them.

Looking at the quality of the other entries, i'm not feeling so good! head to www.crystalpark.com.au to check out all the entries and decide for yourself!

oh yeah, and i didn't win the voters choice award for the final month either. it's RIGGED lilly!! thankyou to everyone who voted, or at least tried to vote even though the site wouldn't let them. It means a lot that people want to shut me up so bad they do what i ask them to do!

I've already started on my next big arty project: the costume and masks for Lady Nicola's masquerade party. The dress is cut out and partly sewn with some embroidery to do next, and the masks for myself and storm are at a delicate stage (i.e. i have to get the sticks off them without wrecking them because i don't like the way i've done it!) There is a pic in the scraps of my deviantart showing Storms' mask in progress. I'll add another one of the material for my dress soon.

Thanks again, and cross your fingers for me!

my man the Ocker-Geek!

ok, so you've heard of the Uber-geek, the anime-nerd, the WoW tragics and the white dwarf cultists, but have you heard of an Ocker-geek?

Well I'm living with one. The lovely ghenkis has finally found his niche: blokey truck-driver with footy injuries who drinks beer by day, he arrives home to metamorphose into a MMORPG-playing, fantasy novel reading soon-to-be BComp student who drinks beer! I loves him!

In other news, i've been invited to an awesome partay! woot! a friend who throws the best parties has decided once more to throw a gala masquerade affair in early august and by virtue of actually being on her email list for the first time i know about it a month or so in advance instead of a week or so in advance! The result of this is mad costume making like you have never seen before. I'm going with the venetian masquerade theme, whilst the afore-mentioned Ocker-Geek will be turning up in the monochromatic ensemble of the Dread Pirate Roberts! I'm making my own dress (simplicity pattern 4453 in royal purple and gold embroidery), my gloves, purse, fan, jewellery and mask! I have also been requested to make a mask for my friend Storm who has procured a ravishing red gown from ebay. Of course this would all be fantastic if it wasn't for the fact that i'm running out of gold jumprings as we speak and my sewing machine just went berko for no apparent reason. But at least tomorrow i get to put plaster and vasaline on Storms face without her hitting me for it! There may be pics! Woot!

Oh yeah, and my job sucks and i'm over it. I am going back to uni next year or i will find a bridge to jump off!

*sigh*

wow, 2 posts in one day. I'm either really bored or really in need of someone to talk to! Actually it's a little it of both...

There are times when a woman needs a gay male friend. Not just so you can meet him for coffee and not have your man get all jealous and weird about it, although that would be a plus. No I mean a male friend you can ask about communicating with a man and who isn't too macho or so out of touch with his own feelings to just say something flippant and unhelpful.

Like say, you had this friend and she wasn't really that into making love, even though she had a good man whom she adored, it's just not that big of a deal to her. And one day her good man tells her it concerns him that she doesn't seem to want to have sex with him. Oh, he doesn't say anything about taking it as a personal insult or comment. And he doesn't seem interested in listening to her explain that a hard wang in her hip isn't exactly the best way to get her in the mood. See, then she could have this gay male friend who is a lot more attuned to his feelings and she could ask him how to explain to her good man that if he only kissed her a little more often, or showed a little more physical affection sometimes, then not only would this be a nice addition to the relationship, but it may even progress into lovemaking a lot more often than just a nudge in the ribs with his woody, er, would.

hypothetically speaking of course.

but, if anyone out there has a gay male friend they're not having coffee or going shoe shopping with this week, could they send him my, er, friends' way?

bleah

*coughcough hack spit sneeze* ow!

I am so over this cold. I didn't know the human body could contain that much phlegm.

oh well, time to go chip the ice off the car and go to work. Short day today so i will soon return to play with blender! I luuuuuuurves my blender!!

Richard Cranium

ok, it's been colder the last two days than it has a right to be, especially inside the freakin supermarket!

Thanks to all of you who have voted already for Indian Gothic Bridal. I know i'm being a pain in the ass about it, but I'm really grateful!

the bastard managers have swooped in and rearranged our meat cabinet for us. unneccesary, unadvised and completely ridiculous. Now we have lots of little packets of meat which the bogans can just shove in their pockets rather than the huge bulk packs that they had to put under baby blankets in prams or stash in green enviro-bags. Tomorrow we'll be marking down the little packs that were made yesterday when the idiots insisted on it. We did do any today and our point will be that they don't sell. Not that they care about meat or anything, or what sells and what doesn't, they just like using big words like 'demographics' which have fuckall to do with our jobs. I was wondering earlier this week whether or not to go part time to uni next year and hold on to my job. But after all this crap I'm going full time uni and finding a part time job somewhere else! I'm over it!!

Outside of that there's not much happening. My folks have had their house plans priced and after dad recovered from the heart attack decided that perhaps renovating wasn't such a bad idea! hopefully they'll still let me do some designing for them, it was the art ideas for their house that got me back into drawing just recently and reminded me that my job is pointless and so i shouldn't let any of the crap that goes on there get to me.

anyhoo, just doing the whole keeping you up to date thing. catchyas!

Indian Gothic Bridal - VOTE NOW!!

Here it is folks. A month's worth of work and one gorgeous model later and the Indian Gothic Bridal set is available for voting on crystalpark.com.au

Now anyone who is reading this has probably already seen this on deviantart and read about it in the email i put out shamelessly begging for votes from my friends and family and anyone else they wanted to coerce into voting too! but hey, this is the Hardly Normal method of advertising here: Shamelessly pimp yourself in every medium at every chance until people are so full of hearing about you that they can't think about anything else!

So here it is again. And I gotta say I'm damn proud of it! Each piece uses some similar components, but is fairly unique in itself. Not surprisingly, the handflower took the longest, with each crystal daisy being put together individually, the band done in japanese 4:1 chainmail and each of the five chains done by hand.

The set is available for voting now at www.crystalpark.com.au (click on the red 'vote here' banner at the top of the page). At the current time (or at least at 4pm) on sunday 10th June, it was at number 35 on the list. The entries are listed in reverse alphabetical order, so when a new entry is submitted to the list, the others are shuffled to allow it to be put in order. The set is titled 'Indian Gothic Bridal' and so if you find the I's you'll be pretty much there! I'll keep an eye on it as it moves around. There were already 75 entries on the list by the time i entered and we've still got 3 weeks so it'll change quite a bit. Everyone's saved their best work for last and there are some fantastic entries on the list at the moment. hopefully I'm up there with the best of them!

Remember you can vote as many times as you like and please let me know if you do vote so i can thank you personally. It's very much appreciated!

And finally a massive hug and thankyou to my gorgeous model Katelyn, younger sister to my wonderful ghenkis. She's already got a comment or two on deviantart saying how pretty she is! She is also the only model amongst the competition entries, so hard to miss!

Thanks for the support guys!

I DARE YOU TO BE HAPPY

That's right, I dare ya!

Have you sat (or stood) at work and thought about how much it sucks? Do you feel drained of all energy and creativity when you get home? Can you barely be bothered looking after your health or being affectionate to the people you love and care about?
yes? Well me too. you've been reading my posts, you know how much my job has been getting to me. The people, the pay, the expectations, the conditions, the complete lack of satisfaction or even hope for satisfaction. It's pretty bleak.

Well lets look at it this way. I have a stable full-time job, it pays for the rent on a great apartment i can come home to every day with a wonderful view of the small, safe city i live in. It also allows me to afford electricity to listen to the music i like, watch the movies i like, have light to draw and read by, have the internet to connect with my friends and the rest of the world, have hot water, hot food and even warm my house so i can be comfortable in winter. I live in my nice comfortable apartment with a good man who loves me, puts up with me and cooks for me. He has the patience of a saint and the smile of an angel. I live in a place and a time where i have the freedom to be a pagan, a voter, a woman, an artist and not fear prosecution or shame for any of those things. I have a reliable car, dear friends, a family who, despite outward appearances, are a close-knit group of wonderful, supportive people who get along wonderfully well. The people at work, with a few minor exceptions, are friendly people, I have weekends off and finish work at 3.30pm most days.

JUST WHAT IN THE FUCK AM I BITCHING ABOUT???????

So you know what? I'm not. I'm not bitching any more. I've made the decision to be happy, to be grateful and to recognise that no matter how stressful work may seem or how horrible some people may be, in the grand scheme of things I'm blessed and i have no right whatsoever to be complaining about these tiny things as if they're the be all and end all of my life.

So come on, are you going to make that decision too? It's easier than you think. You may have to let go of some pet gripes, recognise that you (like me) are a bit too much of a drama queen for your own good, hell, you may even have to cry to let some pressure out. Or even a good laugh. That's what i did this morning whilst driving to work. I laughed. hard. it felt great! it would probably have sounded insane to someone else at the time, but it felt awesome to me. So go on, let it out, scream into a pillow, laugh, spin, cry. Do something to make the pressure go down.

The hardest part of this decision is putting it into practice. You have to monitor your mood, be conscious of your thoughts during the day. Whenever you feel yourself having a negative thought about someone or something, stop. Take a moment to distance yourself from that feeling, or that train of thought and think instead about something fun. What are your plans for your day off? What is a nice thing someone has done for you lately? What is something you like to eat? What is your hobby? Focus on these things. Actively turning away from negativity and focusing instead on the positive parts of your job or other aspects of your life is the most basic way to keep your happy attitude. And that's the bottom line: happiness is an attitude, it is a decision you have to make. It's handed to you in the little blessings and the good friends and beautiful parts of the world, but you have to choose to put those blessings higher up on your priority list than the little stresses and annoyances of everyday life.

So how about it? Want to join me in a happiness decision? It's easy. Just make that choice for yourself. Work, petty people, bad traffic, little spats with your lover or friends all suck, that's for sure, but they do not deserve to take away your positivity. Don't validate them by giving your precious energy and time to worrying about them. Take positive action and take care of yourself. you'll be amazed at how much extra energy and time you seem to have, how much better the workplace and your relationships can be when you're not grumpy and tired all the time!

And when all else fails, think of the colour yellow! Think of a big stunning yellow rose, or the yellow sun, or a buttercup. Yellow is a fantastic colour for happiness! Good luck and remember, having a good day is entirely up to you!

hidey-ho bizatches!

ok, MASS UPDATE ALERT!!

Sorry for once again neglecting my blog, to the what 1, 2 of you who actually give a shit? Anyway, i'm not dead, just lazy!

Full-time work is highly overrated!! I WANNA GO BACK TO UNI!!!!!

I'm not kidding. Alright the meat room is a fuckload better than any other department in the supermarket, but a co-workers 20 YEAR ANNIVERSARY of working in the company put into perspective the fact that there are NO PROSPECTS for my line of work, at least not here in tassie. Also it is completely soul sapping. I have no energy for being creative out of work hours, weekends are spent drinking and sleeping in an effort to relax before turning up on monday to do it all again. It's been 2 months or less and i'm already over it. there is a myriad of things about working at the supermarket i hate, most of which have been well documented in previous posts and which are getting worse instead of better, especially now that the person i was being trained to replace has now left, but there's no one to replace me so i'm required to be 2 people at once. considering i get paid minimum wage for 1 person this is hardly fair, especially when they call me up to help with service, effectively saying they expect me to be 3 people but they are only prepared to pay me to be 1, and that only barely.

But this week I've come to realise what it is i need: more education!! I mean yeah, it's nice to have the extra cash, but is it really worth it when i'm exhausted, i feel soulless and used and i'm turning to alcohol to feel a bit better? I hardly think so, some people might, but i don't. I miss university life, i mean sure i was broke most of the time, but my brain was being stimulated, i survived exams and met interesting people, i didn't have to get up at 6am and i felt like what i had to say in essays and reports was being listened to, if only by the person marking it. my only regret about uni the first time around was that the course i studied didn't improve my employment prospects! I mean I loved it, and i think that was the problem, because i'm an arty person but there's just not that many art-related jobs that pay a living wage. having said that, if i went back i would be doing a course in fine arts, but i would combine it with a computing degree and focus on the multimedia aspect, including web design, animation and other digital artforms which would allow me to find work in a burgeoning industry similar to that of my wonderful ghenkis! Actually his recent decisions have influenced me a great deal on this. He has come to the revelation that after 6 years or so of busting a gut he actually hates what he's studying! He's changing from engineering to computing, being able to have some of what he's studied credited to the computing course, he will finish it in the same amount of time it would take him to finish his engi course and still provide employment oppurtunities but in a field he enjoys and is actually very good at.

Anyway, so that's what's going on with me at the moment, being completely fed up with a job i've been in for barely 2 months and needing to return to study. Of course I will hold onto my job, probably transfer to a supermarket closer to home and uni and just take on 10-15 hours a week for extra cash on top of centrelink. But damn i would be awesome to go back and to try to put myself in a situation where i actually feel i am moving forward instead of spinning my wheels amongst people who really do have nothing better to do with their lives than pack meat and stack shelves.

crystal let down, Samhain hope

ok, so whose cock do you have to suck at crystal park to get a voters choice award? Sorry if i sound a bit bitter, but as pretty as 'Spring' is, it's not particularly original and not the least bit as exciting as the corset is. Thankyou again to everyone who voted for my work. The wonderful compliments and feedback i got from everyone is greatly appreciated and knowing that a lot of you voted for me makes me feel much less dissapointed than i probably would. There's still the big prize and i still have a few more entries to wow the judges with, so it's not the end of the world, or the competition for that matter!

Over the past 2 weeks as i've settled into the routine of my new job, it has occured to me just how stressed i've been for close onto a year. Anyone whose read this blog, or who knows me at all knows how much i dislike my workplace. I even hate parts of it and the attitudes of certain people in it with a passion. But stability and routine in the least stressful workplace and for the most easy to get along with boss i've ever worked for have combined to help me calm down quite a bit lately, and although i'm tired, i'm not exhausted, stressed out or frustrated like i've become accustomed to being.
This has hit me in 2 ways, and both of them yesterday evening after i'd written my previous blog. The first was in my attitude towards my partner, the wonderful and ever patient Gareth. I honestly don't know why he puts up with me sometimes. I can be a snippy bitch, a spoiled, critical, superior grouchy little bitch. And yet, miracle of miracles, he loves me. His patience and ability to forgive knows no bounds, and i'm so grateful. In a previous post, where i was writing about a then obsession with weddings, i wrote that i had cried on my way to work one morning when thinking about the sort of vows i'd say to him on our wedding day, if the gods should grant us one. I was similarly tearing up today thinking about the same thing. And not to ruin the surprise or anything, but i'm pretty sure the major theme of my vows will be gratitude!
The second reason why i realise i'm relaxing about work and finances, as well as my relationship, is my rekindled consideration of the spiritual aspects of my life. Funny isn't it how if that was the first thing we considered, the other things wouldn't seem that big of a deal, and yet it is the last part of ourselves we give any thought to. It is, here in the southern hemisphere, 1 day before Samhain, or the pagan new year. On this night, the barriers that exist between this realm and the spirit world are the thinnest of all, as the pagan god, consort and son of the goddess, dies and we begin the long winter. It is appropriate that i'm thinking of the craft again at this time of new beginnings and insight, when guidance can be sought from the spirits of ancestors, the full moon allowing for greater, fuller spritual contact, and quiet contemplation of the future as well as respect for the past are foremost at this time. I don't know if i'll write any of what i contemplate tomorrow night in here, as plans for the future, we'll see.

Happy New Year! Merry meet, merry part, merry meet again.

And don't try to think too hard about a pagan who works with meat! I'm not!

meat, crystals, poker & other mundanities.

sorry! did mean to update this before now, but just kinda didn't. Anyway...

So yeah, i've just started my third week of full-time meaty goodness. My spongelike ability to pick up on how to do stuff has been stretched and at the moment i'm a bit clogged up with little bits of info and pork, which isn't good cos it makes chocolate taste funny and i sooo neeeed chocolate! Oh yeah and the girl whose teaching me everything moves states in 4 weeks so i better get all spongy again!

Today being the last day of the month (yes i'm a mathematical genius. deal) the voting for crystal park's April people's choice awards for awesome pineapples finishes today. To all those people i know and don't know and would know if i could know but can't know so i won't know, who voted for the corset of yumminess WOOOT!!YOUGUYSROCKSOHARDOMGWTFROFLMFAO...!!!!111!!!111

erm, thankyou. Should know if all your coolness and my awe inspiring talent have resulted in victorious joy in the next couple of days. Seriously i don't know what else i could do to win this thing. Except the project i'm starting right now. chainmail and Swarovski crystal Indian bridal set including two 5-ring slave bracelets, a tikka (that's the forehead thingy), a choker and a long necklace, earrings with ear chains and probably a footcharm if i have enough jumprings. To get an idea of the colours i'll be using, check out my red Tikka at my deviantart account.I expect to have the set completed during this month(may) and submitted for next month (june) which is the final month of competition. In the meantime I will submit both my chainmail blossom charm purse and my crystal daisy ring, both of which are on my Deviantart account.

oh yeah, and anyone whose interested in playing online poker for free without having to bluff or even sit at a table all the time, put absolute poker in your google and smoke it! Downloading the software has thus far proven to be spyware and adware free for the 3 computers i know have it on there, and if you see cherrydelite on the tables DONTFUCKINRAISEMEYOUBASTARD! ahem. If you see noluckdragon with a seriously pissed off looking avatar or one called luckypanda, give em hell!

and i thought it was just a fad...

alright alright, you win ecommerce, i'll jump on the ebay bandwagon.

these links and pics of these items are available on my deviantart account for your perusal as well, but here are the ebay links for my first items being sold. It'd be great if people could let me know if they think I'm asking the right prices for them or anything else that would be helpful to know. Thanks!

pearl mobius earrings
pearl mobius necklace
Royal Velvet choker

It takes so bloody long to upload stuff to ebay, I'm exhausted after just 3 things! oh well, it'll be enough for now.

I was sorry to hear today that my model for the corset has been afflicted with a horrible sickness. Due to these circumstances I have had to replace her with a pillow. Sorry Kate! Hope you're feeling much better soon!
To see the pillow in action check out my deviantart account here

WOOT! the whole meatroom job thing has come together, i start on monday and have pretty much all of this week off to work on jewellery stuff and getting my ebay and paypal stuff sorted, so mass amounts of YAY!

NOW, there is photographic evidence!

This page will take a while to load, the pics are pretty big. The chain parts on the top aren't really clear, but soon I will have some lovely photos of the corset being worn so that will help! Now I'm off to make and paint a box for it, and make a necklace and earrings set to go with it!

no photographic evidence!

it's hard to type when i can't pull the laptop into my lap because of all the chainmail bits that are sitting on it. I've been practicing some new techniques because my credit card has been approved (woot!) and i've been officially told that I (finally!) have the full-time meatroom job at work (wootwoot!) so in a few weeks' time I will be able to start getting in materials for producing jewellery pieces and other craft masterpieces to sell on ebay and etsy!! WA-WOOT!!

The title of this post refers to the fact the THE BIG ONE is finally complete!! It is a thing of wonder and beauty indeed, an object of such rare elegance as to stir the soul and touch the heart. It is bold, yet sublime, Colourful, yet subdued. It speaks of poetry and fine wine. Grace, art, culture and the skill of a genius in full flight combine to form a masterpiece of varied medium and unsurpassed glory. It is, in short, an Opus of biblical proportions.

And none of yers can say no different cos i don't got me batteries for me camera charged yet, so there's no piccies! bleah!

goings on at 4am

bleah. I hate 5 am starts. I may have heard a rumour which will mean i don't have to do them in a few weeks time, but i've heard no official word yet, so i won't get too excited.

Craft fair was cool, i'm flat busted now, but i have shiny pretty things with which to make stuff and hence money, as I have also been approved for a credit card! Woot! I just have to get my grubby mits on the plastic now and stuff like Etsy and Ebay will get started, along with PayPal. Don't have the money to start buying all the awesome stuff I've found on wholesale beading sites yet, but I will get there.

The big one is almost done! Just a couple of finishing touches which should be completed by the end of today or tomorrow at the latest! Woot! again. It's completely different to anything else submitted to the competition by anyone thus far. It's tested my patience and my bank account and my ability to stick to an idea, despite the fact that i don't have the technical knowledge/ skill to pull it off professionally. But, I'm happy with it, for the most part, and I've learned a lot in the making of it. Hope people like it! Today being the first of the month, but a sunday, i may have to wait until tomorrow to find out if all that voting you've all been doing on my behalf has won me the march voters choice prize. Thankyou to everyone who voted, it was awesome to hear people tell me they were pissed off that the site didn't allow them to vote more!! Hopefully this piece will make you want to vote more!

bleah, i hate 5am starts. g2g. bleach

Da Art critic is in da hizz-ouse!

ok, so i have one word to sum up the new silverchair album: gay. and not in the fun, poppy way of the scissor sisters, but in the thinly disguised, we're not quite ready to come out of the closet despite the fact everyone knows, kinda way. And daniel johns' latest facial hair disaster ain't helpin any either!
Heard something cool on triple j tonight, a brisbane artist called Kate Miller-Heidke. Just google her name, you'll find her website. if you go to her myspace page it plays a few of her songs. She's a classically trained opera singer, but she sings great pop/ folk songs. Check out the lyrics page for 'Gaydar' and 'Australian Idol' very very funny! she sounds a bit like Tori Amos, just happier!
Oh yeah, and if you're looking for a start to your David Bowie music collection and aren't too cheap just to buy the $12 remastered versions of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars or Diamond Dogs (both excellent albums despite the bargain bin price! hit wikipedia before listening to get an insight into the concepts), then grab yourself a copy of '1. Outside.' It's the first of a planned quintology of concept albums based around David's story 'The Diary of Nathan Addler.' Very trippy cyber-punk/ industrial/ goth sounds. If you like Nine Inch Nails, you'll love this! And you can jump on the bandwagon with the rest of the world in trying to petition DB and Brian Eno (producer extraordinaire!) into putting out the second album before we all die of old age!

Moving from music to theatre now, I was priviledged to see 'Dream Masons' last night. It's a play centering on water mythology and has been concieved and developed to celebrate the 30th birthday of the Salamanca Arts Centre, and it coincides with the '10 Days on the Island' arts and culture festival here in tasmania. The play takes place on specially-built scaffolding on the outside of the sandstone building, and the players moving along the scaffolding as well as in and out of the windows, sometimes using ladders or wires to do so, with no nets to catch them if something goes wrong! It tells individual stories of disparate characters, who are then united in a common crisis. Combining action, comedy, tragedy and debauchery, innovative set design, shadow puppetry, wire cables, a live band and choral performances which actually made me cry, and a graceful, moving finale, Dream Masons is a completely engrossing presentation. It even makes you forget that you're sitting on a paved road! Dream Masons has only 1 performance left at 7.30pm 26th March, it is a free event and they close off the road for the audience to start congregating 2 hours before the start of the performance. Take advantage of this, as well as blankets and cushions!

From theatre to the visual arts/ crafts.
There are 2 other fabulous installations around hobart as part of the 10 days on the island that i've managed to get to so far. I am planning to get to the Pacific Crystal Palace later this week. It is a fantastic venue, designed and built in new zealand, and is able to be moved and erected almost anywhere! featuring stained glass windows, cowrie shell inlay detail on the seating, a dance floor and stage and an elaborately appointed bar, the PCPalace is an attraction by itself! for the duration of the 10 days it will also be a performance space for a whole range of entertainers and the location for 'litarary lunches' and ongoing bookclub for the festival.
But getting back to the 2 installations i've seen. The first one is easy to find, it's the Write/ Here project and consists of billboards around the city which have been paid for by corporate sponsors and feature white writing on a red background. Each one is a unique thought about life in Hobart. Check out the website for more details: www.writehereproject.org which includes photos of each billboard as well as the locations.
The second is a knitting exhibition. I know, sounds boring. However, the knitting room, a free event located in the Moonah Arts Centre features the work of several elderly care homes and primary schools. Well over 200 people participated in the exhibition to produce a stunningly detailed world of wool. Walk in under the knitted arbour to the front garden featuring a full-sized knitted fountain complete with knitted water, waterlillies, fish and doves! Walk through past the knitted people (life sized!) to the knitted living room featuring a knitted fire in a knitted fireplace under a knitted mantlepiece. The knitted television shows footage from the fifties, the central theme of the exhibition, subtitled 'Yarns from the Fifties.' The kitchen features incredible details like a knitted loaf of bread and knitted bacon, sausage and egg in a knitted frypan on a knitted stove. The detail is stunning, and the many hours of work and effort are obvious in every stitch. It may sound boring at first, but get on down, it's free and it takes about 20 minutes to get around. Support the work of our elderly community and make the time to admire their fantastic work.

The 10 days on the island features a massive list of plays, exhibitions, musical events and film. Get yourself a program or jump on the website. Tasmania has a rich art scene and are justly proud of our culture, show some support and get yourself an education! www.tendaysontheisland.com

Something else going on this week that i'm excited about is the Craft and Quilt fair on at the Derwent Entertainment Centre from Wednesday March 28th to Saturday 31st March. I'm thinking of getting into one or two of the craft circles this year, depending on time and if mum thinks she can amuse herself or join in! If you didn't get your Fair Friend in Saturday's mercury, jump onto their website: www.craftfair.com.au it's one of the bigger craft fairs to hit hobart during the year, and has new techniques, products, kits and equipment to indulge in! This years also features a nationally touring exhibition of quilts made by war veterans and their families, as well as the families of those who did not return. The exhibition is said to be centred around thanking and acknowledging the sacrifice of our diggers and the ongoing sacrifices and suffering of the ones they left behind. It is also a poignant reminder of the futility and waste of war.

Outside of all this cultural indulgence, life at work is sucky as ever. Instead of having full-time hours thrown at me from all sides as had been indicated, i have enjoyed 3-4 days off for the last 2 weeks. Granted not having to go to work is a joy and a pleasure, especially as it gives me more time to work on my Swarovski competition masterpiece! However, the need to pay bills is pressing while the means to do so is dwindling. It's the lying that hurts. And the fact that i got a 'thanks but no thanks' letter from spotlight in response to my application. Doesn't help the confidence in being able to get a better job.

Congrats to my good friend Blunty3000 (that's his YouTube handle) for getting nominated for the YouTube inaugural awards. Check out his Guns Vs Spoons video which has been nominated. He was even featured in today's Mercury (nice pic hun!) and was quoted as saying he was getting actual payed work as a result of his YouTube involvment! YAY!

under construction: the winning entry & ebay!

Well there has been movement at the station. I still hate work, that hasn't changed, but i have set a few things in motion to start decreasing my reliance on it. Firstly I have (reluctantly) applied for a credit card in order to set up a paypal account and an ebay shop as well as probably an etsy account (for those who don't know, etsy.com is like ebay, except it just sells handmade things and i don't think it's an auction, just set prices.) I am also working on a website to showcase some of my better work as well as what I am able to turn my talents to for commission or custom work. There is a flyer in the works featuring lots of pictures of some of my best pieces and contact information which I'm hoping to get spread about the place.

I have also started work on the fabled 'big one!' this will be a triumphant masterpiece of glorious wonderment. if i don't botch it! Stay tuned, it will take me a week or two to complete.

Thankyou to everyone who keeps voting, or trying to vote in the Swarovski competition. I know I kinda told ya'll to do it, but I am very grateful that people have chosen to vote so often. Thankyou for the support and for thinking the things i make are worth it. It really gives me confidence to pursue the idea of selling my work. you guys rock!

productive me

Work is becomming the annoying chore in between living these days. I know that if i hate it that much then it's time to get out and find something else, and I'd started doing that, but full time hours in a place i'm used to is easier than looing for something which may be less secure. And I do so love the pay packet. mmmmcash!
Said paypacket is currently helping me feed my chainmail/swarovski crystal habit which i'm sorry to say has me dashing for the craft shop at the end of the working day (provided the working day actually ends at a time when the shops are still open) desperate for more jumprings, findings, crystals, beads, etc.etc.etc.
It is high time this became a 2-way thing. money in as well as money out.
My dilemma is two-fold, the first erm fold (!) being pretty simple to iron out (am i mixing my metaphors?). In order to sell stuff i must first have a place from which to sell it. answer: ebay or etsy. problem being i need a credit or debit card to maintain a profile on either site, even if i'm using paypal. solution: apply to bank for debit card. told ya that first one was easy.
Second fold is that I have no idea what I'm worth. I mean i can easily work out on paper what a piece of jewellery has cost me in materials, and i can even calculate the time it takes me to complete the same piece. The problem is what is that time worth? $5 an hour? $10 and hour? Should it be a percentage on top of the materials, or a set hourly rate? And what about the intricacy of a piece. I mean I can pretty well zone out and let my hands do the work for simple chainmail. But for composition and design, and more complex work I have to try harder. Is there a difference in what my time is worth then? And how do I justify the price I charge to someone who I'm charging it from for a commission that they've been kind enough to ask me to make because they like what i do?
argh.
btw, learning to make corsets is hard but kinda fun! I might try crochet next. mmmlacy

almost forgot!

ooops, didn't mean to leave this place for so long. been busy i guess.

generic update: had birthday, birthday rocked. still not got fulltime job, but have 3 departments fighting over me now! woot! been crafting heaps, check out deviantart for my new beaded flowers and my chainmail pieces. didn't win last months swarovski prize, but the coronet is still on the site and available for voting, and my newest entry, "A charmed bookmark" has been added and is currently the first thing on the list (or was a few hours ago!). Currently completing a chainmail mobile phone/ clubber pouch to add to it.

I am eating pikelets.


If anyone knows how to sew, I'd be grateful for some help! Spotlight had an awesome sale on dress patterns so i bought the 2 patterns i need to make my wedding dress! the only problem is i have no idea what to do with them! One is a corset and if i could learn how to make it in a month or so I could make an awesome one decorated with swarovski and enter it into the competition!

the pikelets have apricot jam on them.

Spent the last 2 weeks housesitting for the new mr and mrs dukayn while they were on their honeymoon. Their feline masters are both twisted and unusual. However, there was Austar and hence the joys of latenight She-Ra episodes. There was also much beading and chainmail and hence much praise from the mother of the bride, the meek and humble Marik followed by much chest puffing and egotistical parading by yours truly.

except for the one's with sugar and lemon juice.

1 more day and 1 more year

so tomorrow is my 27th birthday. not impressed.

I'm trying to think of an ID for deviantart. Something that describes me in one picture. the problem is, when it comes to art and me, i'm kinda random. I'll have a go at anything that looks like fun at the time. i'm no good at chibis so i can't do a self portrait like that. Maybe I could do something like Jess (tattereddreams.deviantart.com) with a photo of myself enhanced with the computer, but it's not something I'm used to doing either! Hmm

I'm also looking at setting up an Etsy account to start selling some things, mostly jewellery but maybe plushies and, when I learn to make them, corsets.

Just got 2 awesome new books, one of them is chainmail designs and as soon as I can get to a metal place I'll start on those. In the meantime, the new beaded flower book i have is keeping me very amused. Anyone whose coming to margarita nite tomorrow night will see the fruits of this amusement.

Hmm, maybe a rose-related ID?

Vote 1 Cherry!

hey guys, so if you didn't get the email, please head on over to this link: crystal park and vote for my Regal Coronet before the end of february so I can win the monthly prize. What do you get out of it? Well beyond my eternal gratitude and the bestowing of the warm-fuzzies upon me because you appreciate my work, it will also be counted as a birthday present as I am to lurch on to the heinously antique age of 27. I get more grey hairs just thinking about it!

Oh yeah, as I write this, Stormwolfe and Dukayn have officially tied the proverbial knot and are celebrating with friends. I have bailed for the sole reason that I am anti-social and Heather looked a little flustered being around that many people she didn't need 2 more in her face! Sorry Joey, I know we hardly see each other lately, but hopefully if i get the full-time job at work I should be able to work my way around to going to bellydancing class with you which would be hell-sweet!

The wedding itself couldn't have been better (except for the too-casual, egomaniacal celebrant) with the weather and everything else coming together. It was a lovely ceremony and it was an honour to be there to see the two of them united. Congratulations to the new Mr and Mrs Bradford and I hope the memory of today will always make you both smile no matter what happens in the future.

I'm not ashamed to say I cried either! It was just too beautiful!

p.s. please vote. please...

And the thunder rolls...

The storm has been going for over 20 minutes now and still the thunder and lightening are constant. The driveway is a flood and although the rain has eased enough to see over the city, there is still a massive grey curtain over the mouth of the derwent river. The lights in here are going funny and I'm pretty sure that we'll lose electricity if this keeps up.

All I can think is that the beach stormwolfe wants to get married on tomorrow will be washed away by the time we get there tomorrow evening! On the plus side, the weather will have blown itself out by then, fingers crossed! For now it's just spectacular. Except for the ambulance lights going across the bridge. That's not cool.

In other news, I've uploaded a piece to be judged in the Swarovski Crystal beading design awards being run by www.crystalpark.com.au and when they've finished making sure it conforms to all their rules, they will upload it so the general public will be able to vote on it for the Monthy Voter prize which consists of $100 of Swarovski products. WOOT! It would almost pay for the cost of making the coronet! That's it above here. Yes I made that from scratch! I'm reall proud of it. There's a few pics of it on deviantart, both the old pearled version and the new all-crystal version, but the one I've uploaded to the competition site is called Regal Coronet and is much bigger than the pic here. The competition allows for more than one submission so I'm thinking of adding a pair of earrings and maybe even a foot charm if i can afford it!

The rain has pretty much stopped now. But the thunder rolls...

you remind me of the babe...

oops, ok so been a while since i blogged. catchup time.
Can't remember what was going on and too lazy to check my last post so here's what's going on now:
bakery and meat still fighting over me (WOOT!)
I have taught myself to make chainmail and will enter my first piece in a competition to go to Austria to the headquarters of Swarovski Chrystal. (double WOOT!)
I have fallen in love with the Labyrinth and David Bowie as Jareth all over again! (mmmtights!) In light of this I have begun writing and posting a fan-fic based on the movie on deviantArt. click da link on the right of screen to check me out, literary stylie!
outside of that I am completely exhausted as I have worked 5 days in a row and have 2 more in bakery. I started at 5am on saturday, sunday and monday. I started at 7am today and will do for the next 2 days. Unfortunately due to the overpowering needs to write fan-fic and create prize-winning jewellery (as well as the knowledge that if i go to bed I'll just have to climb out of it again), I have gotten bugger all sleep over the last few nights. Isn't there something in the union rules about not working 7 days in a row? oh well, the pay packet next week should look pretty dern healthy, even if i look like a sack o' crapola!
Oh yeah, I'll have that jewellery piece up on dA as soon as it's finished. Keep checking back!

not much to report

So the wedding plans are coming along. Gareth and I have had a couple of talks about it. I think that because of my initial enthusiasm he thought i was planning on it all happening quickly and this worried him quite a bit. But I've explained that, due to the depth of the stuff i want to do for myself and the fact that i want us to be settled and want plenty of time to save up for it, and most importantly i want us to both be ready and willing to do it, I'm not thinking about it happening for at least 5 years or so. Anyway, I'm still looking for ideas and planning things out and thinking of things i need to learn to pull it off. Gareth figured out for himself that I also want to learn these things in order to make my own business based on them.
So I'm going to take my Strawberry Champagne's suggestion of a glory box and slowly work away at it, as well as making alternative versions of jewellery and other things as i go along to sell.
Outside of that there's not much going on. It's 9 days from Stormwolfe's wedding and she had a bit of a cold feet panic attack today, but she'll be fine.
I'm still working on weight loss and detox and that sort of thing, and am taking better care of my skin and hair than i was before. I didn't get the wondrous botanical gardens job, which sucks, but it looks like i'm going to get this full-time meatroom job at the supermarket, along with a few hours in bakery to mix it up. So long as I don't have to spend much time on front end it should be good. I've come to realise that the front end sucks the most. The management is clueless and the beaurocracy regarding signing every little thing to say we've read and understood it every friggin week just drives me nuts! plus standing in one place for hours at a time gives me a sore back. At least the time goes faster and I feel like I've done a proper day's work when I'm in the bakery. I also have renewed reason to go to work. It helps to feel better about being there when you have a purpose for it. As well as squirreling away money for a wedding somewhere off in the future, I also want to save for a proper computer. first priority though is a pair of glasses. The one's I have are over 5 years old. I don't even bother wearing them when I'm just at home. They press in on my head and the right lens keeps falling out of them. I'm long overdue for new ones and I better do it soon.

y'know, I learned something today (aka: cured!)

okay, so I'm not actually stopping the planning of the wedding thing, mostly because I've had some great ideas for jewellery and it gives me a direction on things i have to learn to make it how i want it. But it's not the desperate peer-pressure 'the clock is ticking' planning (although i'll stand by what i said about wanting to be breeding in a couple of years). y'see I spent yesterday evening at a hen's night (something I've never done before) and it was...interesting. During dinner, two of the bridesmaids who didn't know each other (and who are also getting married) seemed to be bonding along nicely. However, at the cocktail bar afterward, the one without money was dropped like a hot rock to sit, drinkless, by herself when the third bridesmaid (who I don't mind saying I detest, and who is also getting married, despite the fact that if she had a heart it would consist of rock with little bits of ice stuck to it and the dude she's gettin hitched to is basically a walking, talking piggybank she can screw. bitter? who me?!) turned up. I learnt several things. The first one is that leaving the bridesmaids to figure out their own outfits is probably not the best idea. Second is, if there are people invited to your hens night who do not have 'means' opt not to let the rich people plan it because it makes the budget conscious one feel self-conscious and left out (not good if they happen to be a bridesmaid). And thirdly make sure your bridesmaids all know and like each other, the ensuing bitchiness, while amusing, is not particularly good for maintaining long friendships. Something to remember is that it may be an honor to someone to be asked to be heavily involved in their friends' wedding, but it's also a responsibility for the bride (or groom) to keep them involved and not to turn the honor into a slap in the face. (for the hen in question: I am not saying that you're doing this hun, I am saying your other bridesmaids are making the other one feel this way. This is almost certainly not even my business, but I have to call it as I see it. Perhaps a simple acknowledgment of the situation would go a ways to relieving it? ok, I am officially butting out now!)

Anyhoo, the whole situation made me really think about my own wedding. I know it's going to happen because the man I have right now is the keeper. The poor boy doesn't stand a chance at escape! I was idly looking at a site which discussed writing your own vows, and it makes the suggestion of asking yourself a few questions to get ideas of what to say. A couple of those questions were things like 'what is it you love the most about your partner, what does your partner do for you that you appreciate the most, what does marriage really mean to you?' And it got me thinking about the things I really love about Gareth and what he means to me and what being married to him would mean. I confess I started crying about it as I drove to work this morning (5.45am is a particularly emotional time!). I just kept thinking how lucky I was that I had someone who puts up with my millions of faults and flaws, my shit moods and nastiness with nothing but an ocean of patience and some sort of calm knowledge that I'll wake up to myself and realise what a bitch i can be and do something about it. he's supportive and sweet, realistic and reasonable to the point of annoying bluntness sometimes, but we all need a strong voice of reason in our lives (i don't think i have an inbuilt one!). He has a sense of romance and a sense of humour, and a deep-running sense of art that sometimes emerges from within his pragmatic engineers' shell.
The most important reason why I love him so much is because he's saved me. I have spent so much time being scared that I'll never find someone to love me like he does, that I will be lonely all my life. I have shed too many tears to even contemplate because of these feelings. But now that I know he's there and that he will always be there so long as i do learn to show my gratitude for his presence in my life, I just feel this great sense of relief. I won't be lonely anymore, I'll have someone to share all those years with, and I'll love him for it the rest of my life.
In the middle of these tears and revelations it occured to me that it doesn't matter if everyone in the world decided to get married before us. This is OUR relationship, and we will come to make that commitment, and make it officially when the time is right for us. So I'm cured of the 'time ticking away' madness. Time is arbitrary to true lovers. Sure I'm going to keep thinking about the wedding itself, have little ideas about it all the time because that's what women do, and now I know that it's going to happen and who it's going to happen with. It's just that now, the colour of the napkins on the day doesn't mean shit to me!

And now if you'll excuse me, I have a gorgeous man to go and hug!

It's going to get worse before I get better

you may recall my last blog. At the time I was deperately trying not actually start planning my own wedding, desperately fighting the vibes of all those around me. Then it was staring wistfully into bridal shop windows (which, let's face it, I've always done!), and vicariously feeding off the excitement of the brides-to-be around me.
Well I've given in. I'm planning. Yes, I'm planning my wedding. With or without the other half! I'm searching the web for hairstyles, searching pattern books for dresses, searching for instructions to make beaded roses for bouqets, wondering if bonbonierre is really worth the cost.
I was in a shop today considering the COLOUR OF THE NAPKINS PEOPLE!!!!! I need a serious intervention or something!
I know it's all the influence of the fluttery hearts around me, and frankly it will be a relief when they're done with this ceremony thing and retreat to their respective caves, not to be seen again until they have spawned. Somewhere in the peace and quiet I will lose my enthusiasm for this insanity and drop the whole thing in pursuit of other things.
That is, of course, until the impending arrival of aforementioned spawn, when I will be embroidering baby blankets for my friends and mourning my as yet devoid of life womb. It's at that point that every condom in the house will subjected to being pierced with a sewing needle!

it's never too early...

It's 17 days until stormwolfe and dukayn tie the proverbial knot. I'm still making the guestbook and i've been consulted in the embroidery of her dress. It's fun to be involved and a really nice feeling that someone trusts me enough to be involved in something as important as a wedding day. Yesterday I was helping with the skirt embroidery while another of her friends was there to work out hair. This other friend is getting married in a year, but is already immersed in the whole thing of dress/ tradition/ fights with her mum, etc etc.
A number of other people from my circle of friends are getting married over the next couple of months. There seems to be a massive amount of preparation, arguments and money-saving to go through to pull off a wedding. I've only known my Gareth for a year (our first anniversary will be march 4. miss lilly and i have some planning to do!) but I'm wondering if it's not too early to start with this whole wedding planning thing. I know I'm probably just letting the fact that everyone around me is taking the leap affect my jugdement, but on the other hand, the sooner I start, the less stressful it may be in the end! I've been saying the easiest thing to do would be the chuck a kegger and invite a celebrant. Seems to be the cheapest and easiest option!
But then there's a pretty dress involved and i like pretty dresses, and flowers are nice, and it would be good to have photos to remember the day, and a live musician for people to dance too...*sigh* better start saving i guess. I'm not getting any younger.

They're up!

So folkies it's time to use the fabulous linky thing on the right side of the page to scoot on over to my deviantart account to see the shiney things i was promising ya'll (you're looking for the latest jewellery posts, you'll find it!) Drop me a comment, compliment, commision. I'm a popularity whore so just go on ahead and pay attention to ME!

So, besides constant affirmation that that raving lunatic who runs the service desk in the supermarket where I work needs to be put down before she destroys us all with her abject stupidity, there's not a whole lot going on in cherry land. I'm working on a whole bunch of crafty things, which should all be put aside promptly so I can finish stormewolfe's wedding pressie!

Watching the cricket and waiting for the tennis to start, how aussie/sad is that?! Seriously though, if Gonzalez (or 'Gonzo' as the commentators have dubbed him) plays as well against Federer as he did against tommy Haas the other night, this is gonna be an awesome match!

National Pride and Prejudice

Happy Australia Day! More importantly, HAPPY HOTTEST 100!!!!!

There have been a lot of opinions and swear words being thrown around this week about the Australian flag being banned at one of the nations biggest annual youth events: The Big Day Out. This supposed ban existed only for the Sydney concert, and not for any other state, for fears it would start race-related conflict at the event. First of all, I have heard that the organisers did not in fact BAN the AUSTRALIAN flag, but DISCOURAGED people bringing any kind of flag in case they would be used as gang colours and lead to trouble. The press ran away with the idea that our nations' flag was being banned specifically as it was gang colours and a symbol of racism. The truth and what the media presents is, as usual, two completely different things. However, this interpretation has brought about a massive nation-wide debate about what the Australian flag means to people. For those who don't know, the reason why Sydney was singled out is because it is, as yet, the only place in the country where full-blown race riots have occured in recent times.
A bogan symbol, a fascist symbol, a symbol of racism, a symbol of unity, a symbol of our nation and everything it entails and a nice design for a singlet seem to be the main contenders for what exactly the flag means to the people of this country.
And me? the Australian Flag represents the stars of the southern cross which also appear on the New Zealand Flag, as they are our close neighbours, and our ties to England and the Commonwealth as represented by the Union Jack. (and it occurs to me that I've never written or typed the words Union Jack before in my entire life!). It shows where we geographically are in accordance to the stars and politically through our enduring ties to our former Mother land. It is a statement of our position. However, it also stands as a symbol of our history, both the good and the bad. It is shown at war memorials to remind us what our forefathers died for: the fact that we have the freedom to even debate these things. It also covers the secret war waged when white people first came to Australia, invading and destroying and enslaving the Aboriginal people who were here first and for which their descendents still haven't forgiven the descendents of the white people who subjugated them over 200 years ago. As well they should, considering they are left to dwell in third world conditions miles from any support or aid, given government handouts, but no hand-ups from the white people who are happy to march across a bridge made by white men in the name of reconciliation, but who are unwilling to provide clean water and functional sewerage systems. It is a symbol of a country whose political system welcomes multiculturalism, but whose blue collar inhabitants discriminate through words like 'wog', 'chink', 'dago', 'lebo' and who most recently in certain places are trying politically to restrict and even ban refugees and immigrants from Africa and other war-torn countries from settling here. It represents a massive sporting history for which we are justly proud, besting the world in diverse sports and the biggest sporting stages, even hosting the biggest and most fun opening ceremony for the Sydney 2000 Olympics. Where else in the world can we use lawn mowers and bbq's to represent ourselves. The flag represents a great patchwork of attitudes, walks of life, religious backgrounds, ancestry, wars, heroes, villains, larricans, poets, con artists, media moguls, deep-running social resentments, and the political freedom (for the most part) to express ourselves. We have much to be ashamed of. We have much work to do. We have much to be proud of. We have heroes to look up to. And we all have the freedom to do that work and be those heroes. We are Australian and, for better or worse, this is our flag.

there may be a fight, but it's already over.

I was delighted to hear that people are fighting over me today. The manager of the meat department is going to offer me a full time job in there. However, the bakery manager still needs me to work in there and apparently made this point to someone who works in the meat department during morning smoko (do you think there should be an 'e' at the end of smoko?).
So i'm being fought over. But if there's a full time job where i don't have to start work at 5 or 6am
and I have a room where i can hide from customers then I think it'd be dumb not to go for it.

Still on work, and a little less joyous in nature, as most of my posts about work are. It occured to me today that not only do I not respect my boss because he has no feeling for his employees, but I consider him a dickhead for the way he expects the employees to make up for his shortcomings. Firstly he demands that we get a certain amount of work done, then says that we need to spend less on wages, so we get hours taken off us but when we do work we still have to get that same amount of work done as when we have the time. On top of that he's given the front end a loophole to cutting their spending on wages. They consistently understaff themselves to keep on his good side so he rewards them by giving service alerts whenever they get busy. A service alert is when they call up people who know how to work the registers from other departments to help out for a while. The problem with this system, or at least the way our store manager uses it, is that all the other departments are short-staffed or constantly busy, so when they get called up they get even further behind in their own work. Add this to the fact that instead of once or twice for a few minutes, they call us up and make us stay on registers for 15-20 minutes at a time and do it 10 times in a day! The company I work for makes billions of dollars in profit, so what the fuck makes them think they should be making us slave away for their precious shareholders when the dickhead store managers abuse us and refuse to be trained to help themselves.
So here's my dilemma: full time position in probably the best department in the store vs. working for a slave-driving mother fucker.

oh yeah, weekly status report on my whole weightloss thing: i'm still fat

confessions of a fulltime butcher's bitch?

ok, so the meatroom manager floated the idea past me of being fulltime in the department. No more front end, no more bakery, no more rosters all over the place, fewer customers to deal with, doesn't sound too bad, plus i get a reliable income which i can live on. However, it gets me stuck in the last place I want to be, I still have to travel across the city and i still have to work for people who don't give a shit about me, their customers or anyone else but their shareholders and their own wallets.

something to ponder while waiting to hear back from the jobs i've applied for.

Still working on that puuurty thing, decided to make a set and I still have to finish it. I'll link on here when it's up. I hope it works!

okay, now i see it.

I've found the difference between old and new blogger. I have to log in twice with the new version, once on blogger and again into google accounts. Nice.

had my first day in the meatroom today. wasn't so bad, they have massive extractor fans to keep the smell out, but i think i spent more time out in the shop putting up product. The butchers and the other woman i was working with were nice, and they said i did a good job, which is good cos if they didn't think i was good then sucked in to them cos they're stuck with me for the next 2 days.

I've got my job applications sorted for those 2 government jobs. At least I have all the selection criteria sorted. Now I just need to print out a couple of resumes and knock up a couple of cover letters and i'll be ready to send them off. I've been looking at these sorts of jobs for a while now because they're pretty much the highest paying thing i can do with my arts degree. cross your fingers for me. I still haven't heard anything from the other two jobs i've applied for, which is incredibly annoying. I also have to develop cover letters to email to local businesses that I would like to work for.

Diet and excercise are over-rated. I think i've put on weight since i started actually doing something about losing it. meh.

adendum

survived work. after a couple of hours of limping and grimacing, my leg warmed up and decided to let me walk around without inviting my workmates to make an 'Igor' nametag for me. It still aches and I still have no idea what happened to make it hurt in the first place, but now that i'm able to sit on my arse until tuesday I don't really care.

Checked out my good friend Chris's new band in their first hobart gig last night. Room Service kicks ass! They're 'new country' which is wanky for 'old country with electric guitars and a lead singer who sounds like adam brand' Chris is the multitalented Maestro of the group, playing electric 5-string fiddle, mandolin and trumpet! They were awesome and the crowd were right into it from the first song. Ya gotta love bootscootin' bogans and boozed-up bucksnighters! sorry about that, there's just something about the word 'bootscootin' that begs alliteration.

I just swapped over to the new version of blogger. It doesn't seem to make much difference, but at least i won't be bugged by their propaganda.

It's raining heavily outside, we haven't been able to see the city for 2 hours for the fog and cloud. I can hear sirens though. It came on very suddenly and flooded the streets on both sides of the city. I hope it clears tomorrow before Gareth has to go to work in the truck.

Check out my deviantart account in the next 2 days for a stunning piece of jewellery i intend to make. It's gonna be Puuuuuurty! I might even make a set!

argh! my leg!

snap shot of my life at 5am. technically it's about 5.15am and i'm getting ready for work on a sunday. isn't this supposed to be against someone's religion? I still have to have something to eat and drink and i have to go by 5.30. i'm trying to be quiet as possible because Gareth's still sleeping of course. For the first time in weeks I actually have monday off so I just have to get through the next 9 hours and I'm free for a day until the bastards stick me in the meat department for the first time on tuesday (ergh!). The only thing really different about this morning: my right leg. I've done...something to it. I have no idea what. I'm limping around the place like a war veteran and it hurts like a bizatch whenever i put my foot down. The next 9 hours on my feet are going to be the epitome of hell.

The crap day at work yesterday and the one I'm execting today have had one good effect in that I've found a way around all the selection criteria for those other jobs. It's amazing what you can achieve with the right motivation!

now to hobble over to the kitchen for some tasty breakfast of metamucil and a muesli bar. Joy.

new career=same headache

Job searching isn't any more fun now than it was before I was employed. I have a few more names to add to my referees list and a few more jobs to add to my employment history, but I still suck when it comes to lying successfully on the selection criteria!

I've applied to for 2 advertised retail jobs recently and am still waiting for news from them. A couple of jobs have come up in child and family services for case managers and child protection workers. I will go for them, but the selection criteria is wordy and wanky in a way only government documents can be. The more I look at them the more I think I can't do it. But for $45k pa+ I'll give it a go and leave it up to them to decide if i can do it or not! After I put these applications together I'll apply online for a couple of bookshops in town. I think unless I go back to uni and study something like social work or teaching (blecch to both) or maybe some art and multimedia (which would be awesome) then I'm probably doomed to retail!

Is it a bad thing to be almost 27 and not know what you're gonna do with your life?

status: bleagh

How weak must i be if i want to give up already?! I think I just pushed myself too much straight off. It's hard not to when you're all 'born again whatever' but to start excercising and stop eating on the same day was harsh! I'm exhausted and a bit grumpy. I should be better by tomorrow morning though with lots of sleep.
This arvo I took a big walk up the hill and back again which was nice, but my steepass driveway just about killed me! I also tried to meditate a bit this arvo and that was good too. I just have to get past the lethargic, grumpy stage and then I'll be fine.

status message tomorrow regarding diet and job hunting! New career time! g'night folks!

why is metamucil so damn expensive?

okay, so i bought some bathroom scales. BAD IDEA! and I measured myself around bust, waist and hips. WORSE IDEA! Then I calculated my BMI and how much weight I need to lose for it to say I'm at a healthy weight. WTF!

Okay the BMI is not a bad benchmark, but in my case it sets a pretty unrealistic goal. According to it, I am obese. Okay, not arguing there after weighing and measuring. However, for me to be in a healthy weight range for my height I'd have to weigh 55kg at the MOST! Not gonna happen people! Firstly with my bone structure I'd look malnourished if I was that light, I'd have no muscle to speak of and I'd be so gaunt in the face they'd cast me as Snape in the next HP movie!

So I'm gonna be a bit more realistic with myself and concentrate on dress size and losing actual kg's instead. Currently I'm a 14 bordering on 16 in size and weigh 73kg. Not as big as I have been, but heading that way. My goals is a size 12 and an initial loss of 10kg, with a view to an end weight of 60kg at the most. If I give myself 15 weeks to get the first 10kg off then even if i plateau for a little while it shouldn't be too hard at 1kg per week. If I have the full 13kg off by then, awesome! If not, then I'll give myself another 5 weeks to work harder.

I already started this morning by spending about an hour dancing and stretching and doing sit-ups push-ups and squats. I could probably win Funniest Home video's with the footage (if there was any!) but I feel pretty good right now. I'm detoxing today so I've eaten a carrot and drunk about 4 litres of water!

So remember folks, 3rd of May is my goal date for losing that 10kg. Hopefully I'll lose it off the right bits!

A New Beginning

OO look at the pretty colours! Blogger took down my old blog cos i neglected it. it was filthy, starving, dying of thirst and completely flea ridden. Just like mum's nintendogs!
I can't even remember what i was doing when i last wrote in the other blog other than that i had just discovered my love for deviantArt! Hence i shall recap my entire life to bring you up to speed:

NOT!

I will run down the things i have going on right now tho!
I still love deviantArt. Check out my awesome talent at cherrydelight.deviantart.com
I have a few projects on the go to add to what's there including the guestbook for my friends' wedding, and maiko plushie doll being made with information from one of my favourite deviantartists.
I'm living with my gorgeous man, Gareth, whose name i spelled incorrectly in my former blog! It's sorted now, as you can see. We have an awesome apartment overlooking the city of Hobart which they're about to up the rent on (bastards) but it's still worth it! He's going back to uni to complete his Engi degree this year after spending last semester working pretty much full time in his dad's business. I can't wait to see him at graduation. I'm gonna be soooooo proud! And he's gonna look soooo hot in the cloak and mortarboard! I can't wait!

Anyhoo, i guess i should sign off with a statement of the reason why i decided to pick up this blog thing once more. Ahem: let it be known that Emma, otherwise known as Cherry Delight, resolves to no longer be a fat lazy hoglet, lounging on her hippopotamus-esque arse. This blog is to document my efforts to being a more pro-active human being, no longer griping at the crappy stuff in my life, but endeavouring to change it. I don't want to be grumpy, fat, lazy, unproductive and underpaid. I don't want to work a crap job that i hate with people who for the most part have an IQ at least 30 points lower than mine! I don't want to wear a baby-shit green shirt as a work uniform. I don't want to spend my days off lying on the couch staring at a screensaver because i'm too slack to even surf the freakin internet!

I'm going to spend the next 2 days detoxing my body and starting to move it. I'm going to get up in the morning and dance around the apartment! I'm going to drink cleansing herbal tea and eat fresh vegetables and fruit. I'm going to meditate and teach myself how to relax properly. I'm going to spend my free time being the creative creature i wish to be and cannot be at work. I'm going to actively look for a better job and work on the skills i need to get it. And I'm going to record the results of it all here, where my friends and family can see and judge and prod me when they think i'm not doing it! I'm gonna need your help guys!

Tomorrow I will make an entry here to go through where I am at in different areas of my life and the goals i wish to achieve, short and long term, in each of them. See ya then!